She came on December 26. Cecilia. New to this world.

So much to understand. How to be. To be picked up. To be fed. To be touched.

To let in light. To let the dark soothe. To let out sound. To let in noises.

To feel empty and full and comfortable and not comfortable and to like what’s happening and to not not not like it. And to be upset and then to somehow ease into not upset at all at all at all.

And to be mooshed up against someone and to want to be mooshed up and then to move and have to move and oh dear and that’s better and let’s have more of that and do we have to do this and yes, let’s have that that that. All mooshed up, just so. Feeling with. With.

And then it changes and then it changes and then it changes. Night comes early. But the light follows. Even in winter.

Warm inside. Thank goodness. It’s winter.

Cecilia’s first days.

New in winter.