The raspberries are coming ripe. So good. So few.

When I was making my first decisions about this garden, years ago, there was an abundance of raspberries. They were so happy they wanted to take over the whole area. I labelled them as invasive, before I knew what terrible invasives there actually are, and pulled them out. A while later, I regretted that move and put in new raspberries. But… these raspberries remember. They have never borne fruit like their predecessors.

That’s how it seems anyway.

Meantime, the body does remember. And not just with the brain, I’m told. This naturopath friend of mine told me years ago that when a person decides to make a change – say, to rest more- that the body doesn’t “believe it” until it’s proven to be true over time. One day of rest? Not considered a change worth noticing; only and incidental effect on the ongoing chemistry of the body.

So, here I am a month into the most rest I’ve gotten since I was a child, it seems – other than short bouts of not feeling well. And today, for the first time, I can feel that there has been a shift. Like an upgrade in my energy. It’s a slow process. My body wants this to be something that is here for good: a calmer life. But the body takes a while to release the memory of the fast pace that I’d been moving. And my mind? Is it as impatient as ever?

So I have questions: what do I want my body to believe? To remember? So that tomorrow I’m gaining “chi”, as the Chinese so wisely call it. The core strength that is vital to everything.

My answers matter. Over time. My body: it has memory.